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Psychotherapy and Mental Health Questions

Dependent Husband

Tue, Mar 14th 2000

Although I have plenty of my own mental health issues, in this case I'd like to ask how to deal with my husband's issues. He is a very bright, energetic, college-educated adult who, at 30, still can't cope with balancing the checkbook or sitting down to find a job he would actually be suited for. He has held a series of low-paying clerical jobs that he mostly hated. He is on medication for panic disorder, and in long-term therapy to deal with life issues. Based on my very unscientific reading, the diagnosis of dependent personality disorder fits him very well. The question is, how do I avoid making all the significant life choices and controlling things like household finances in this family, without having to really push him to do things himself? When I try pushing, it feels to him like just another way that I take charge of things too much - he wants to be left alone. We've been in couples therapy, and it helped, but we really can't afford any more therapists at this point. Thanks for your time.

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