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Pornography # 2: Should I Go Or Should I Stay?

Wed, Nov 6th 2002

We have been married for over 20 years. With four children. As well as have been extremely involved with our church which holds very high standards of morality. My husband had spent most of his time at work or involved in church service. He loves to take vacations with the family, but makes it a point to avoid me as much as possible. To the point of when he is home he goes to his room or stays in the kitchen watching tv verses with us. I just found out he has been addicted to phonorgraphy as well as what that includes. He has recently been diagnosised with schizoid personality disorder as well. Its been a long and lonely life for me and my children as well. He says he has changed his ways yet his neglect is much the same. Intimacy is another issue with him. My problem is I have developed several disorders trying to cope. Depression, Anxiety, Panic, Codependency to name a few. I have started my own business but its not at all successful yet. I have been working on it about 1 year. I have had trouble finding mental help and am working on getting into a group as well as counselling. I am on medication. I would like to leave but feel paralized with fear. Money is an issue. Can he really change? He's had his addiction over 30 years. He want to keep the marriage. I don't know if I can care for the family money-wise without him. He does help some at home and is the main provider. What are my options and choices as well as what is the real chance to work it out? I am devistated about his lifestyle. I thought we had the same value system. I don't know which way to turn, I want to be well and finacialy able to care for my kids before I make any moves, if I make any moves. My mental condition concerns me as far as staying. It's been over 1 year when it all came out. Thats when I started my own business 6 months later.

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