Confused?Sun, Feb 13th 2000
I just started dating a guy and we love each others company. We go to the movies, out to dinner, riding or just hanging at home (my house). We have been intimate and it's very gooooood! I get a visit or a call every day. He just keeps me warm on the inside. When I see him I smile, when I hear his voice I smile, when I think of him I smile. One of our most memorable nights is when we just relaxed in the living room and listened to some slow songs on the radio, along with conversation and a fire. I fell asleep in his arms. That was my best experience with a man. I have never been in love, really not searching for love. But he is the closest I've been. He feels the same about me, the reason I know is that we have had a few conversations about us and what we feel. (He says this is his first time feeling that warm feeling also) But, and you know this was coming, he has a girlfriend. He told me the truth and I respect that. Some guys will tell you what they think you want to hear. They have been together on and off for three years. No kids and they don't live together. When we have our little talks we agreed that we are just friends or as we say "special friends". We have discussed me dating others. I asked the question, "Do you think I should start dating or seeing someone else, so I won't be wrapped up in you so much?" He went into a long answer but to some it up he said that he thinks it would be selfish to tell me that he would mind if I dated someone else. That if that is what I really want to do then go ahead but just don't give him any details. So I have started, and I'm always comparing them with him. None can compare! I don't daydream about him as much so I think dating others is what I needed. I kind of want to be more than friends and I am willing to stop dating others, but I'm not sure if he feels the same. I guess if he did then we would be together. But if he was satisfied with the female he is with now why would he visit almost every day (sometimes till 2:00 or 3:00am)? I'm sure she notices a difference in him. I'm not sure if I should just be satisfied with things the way they are, I'm just so confused.
THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
- 'Anne', Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. 'Anne' and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.