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Mental Abuse

Sun, Oct 31st 1999

I have been putting up with what I now see is mental abuse for about two years. My husband has so many great qualities that I never really noticed how harmful his behavior was until we got married. He has yelled at me, belittled me, and has become more physical in his outbursts {but not to me} in our first year together. I'm always afraid that one day he'll do something to hurt me, even though he swears he won't. He also gets very angry in the car and swerves around the road or slams on the breaks. We hardly ever go on trips anymore because of this. It's always "my fault" if the direction are not to his satisfaction. Recently he went so crazy that he decided I was right that he needed professional help. It was that or I'd leave. Even though he is starting counseling I find more and more memories of the controlling or hurtful things he did in the past and realize that I was stupid to think I could marry him and he'd change. Instead he got worse. He gets upset when I try to tell him how conflicted I am. He wants answers - do I love him? do I want a divorce? and I have no answers. Some days I'm mad, sometimes depressed. I keep telling him I'm trying one day at a time. Because life moves on as usual he thinks I've forgiven and its fine - but I don't feel fine. I think about leaving, but don't. what should I do?

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